Friday, July 29, 2005

A bit of this and that.

Ever since season two I've been a huge Big Brother fan. However, this year I took my fanaticism a step further. I subscribed to the live feeds this year and I've been keeping up with some of the stuff on the website. One of the things that they have on there is a "Freeze Frame" where you submit a caption for a picture that is posted there. I was tickled yesterday when I saw my caption had been one that was picked for last week's picture. I think I'd like to see Janelle and Kaysar make it to the final two but I haven't really quite decided on that yet. What I do know is I don't want Yvette or April to get it. April is a flip-flopper and Yvette just gets on my nerves. I was glad to see Cappy leave last night. He was too bossy for my taste, but I think having him there stirred things up in the house which now it will probably seem a bit boring. However, with every eviction last year, I thought the same thing and with every week it only got better and better. So, we'll see.

I was really saddened to find out that another journaler is having serious health issues. I found her journal at the end of the Big Brother season last year so I had never commented. I went looking for it this year when the season started and was surprised to find that she wasn't posting. Much to my horror, I stumbled upon entries by another journaler revealing what had occurred and her husband has since posted a message on the BB journal she kept. Along with what Pam is fighting, it has really given me some deep issues to chew on.

I've never been afraid of death. At the lowest points in my life, I even wished it would come steal me from this world. But, I don't have those feelings anymore. I have a lot of life left in me and hope for a long one. There's still so much I hope and dream to do. I want to experience and take from this life as much as I possibly can. However, it's not just the length of life that I need to accomplish all that I hope for but also the quality of life. As I get older, I don't mind the changes that come with age so long as I am the best that I can be at that age. But, I haven't really been living up to that belief. I don't take care of my health like I should. I smoke. I don't get regular exercise and I waffle up and down in my weight. I ignore my needs and don't take care of myself.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been giving it some serious thought. One of the decisions that I have made is to quit smoking. Part of me really doesn't want to do it. I'm scared and mourning the loss already as I prepare for my quit date which is August 12th. But, I'm fighting those feelings and plowing forward with my decision. I went to the doctor yesterday to talk to her about it. I got a prescription for Wellbutrin and I'll go tomorrow to get some Nicotine Patches.

I've added it to my list of goals on 43Things and will be posting my progress on there. Pam mentioned in her entries a website called Quitnet. I've signed up on there as well. I've quit before but hopefully this time I will quit for good. Misery loves company so if anyone wants to join me in taking control of your life by quitting a bad habit, whether it's smoking or some other monkey on your back, let me know.


ginskia said...

Hi There,

First off, congratulations on your caption making it to the BB website.  I am so happy for you.  At least someone has good news here.  You really inspired me on the 43 things and now this smoking thing.  How about if we do it as a "team" on there.  There is also another lady who wants to do it as a team, so maybe all three of us can do it.  I only met her on 43 things and she is really nice.  Yeah, back to BB.  I was also glad to see Eric go since he has an attitude and a large chip on his shoulder and he is also very arrogant to his friends.  Problem now is Maggie is HOH.  I just have an ugly feeling she will be worse than what Eric was as an HOH and will put up the good people for evictions.  I also like Janelle, Kaysar, James, and Sara.  Ivette too gets on my last nerves, but I have made it a rule not to let people get to me as you saw on 43 things. LOL!!!!  Yes, April is a flip-flopper and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her (which I can't even pick her up LOL)  I don't know what to make of Jennifer at this point, but then she is paired with April so I also keep that in mind.  I also don't trust Bo since he will go along with everything Ivette says.  BTW, you can find Ivette on "my space".  She has no picture there, but the profile and location is just too similar for it to be a coincidence and nobody has posted on it since the filming of the show.  Check it out.  I am on "My Space" too btw.  I go by Anita there.  I don't subscribe to live BB so keep us updated on that.

I will pray for your journalling friend and stop by there.  

Since this is now too long, I will go.


freeepeace said...

Geez, I came here to comment - and I got lost in linkage!  43Things is cool.  

GREAT caption.  I watched one season of BB but I've missed every season since.  I'm afraid I'd get totally sucked in (you know, with live feeds, hamsters, contests and all).

Congratulations on setting a quit date.  That's a big undertaking.  But so worth it.  Rah-rah-rah!  Just curious, why is that your quit date?

babyshark28 said...

your usual.  43things!  cool.  The caption, hahaha!  funny stuff and it would rock to see your name up there, congrats!  

I am not afraid of dying....but, I am petrified of HOW I am going to die. petrified.

I know about Pam, I was floored when I first heard.  I havent' been in yet to check on her progress, bad me...I know.  I will amend that right now.
hugs to you robbie!

babyshark28 said...

oh! I totally forgot.
I had no idea you smoked.
but, you go girl.  I will thinking of you on your quit date....and thereafter. :)

lisaram1955 said...

I'm sorry about Linda.  It DOES make you  think when people you know start having serious health issues.  Stuff you never thought of as ever happening to you starts to look too possible when it happens to someone you know.  Good luck with your quitting smoking!  I'll keep positive thoughts for you.  Lisa :-]

geminiwilder said...

first, to get this out of the way...Kaysar is SO HOT!!!  

yeah.  now that i've composed myself...

it's sad that so many in our community are going through serious illnesses.  however, the support they get from others here is wonderful.  also sad that many others have dropped out of sight...stopped updating...missed so much, without a word - (SloMo especially) - I can't help wondering what is wrong.  the 2nd anniversary of J-land is upon us, and there is really no celebration.  :(  

I'm so glad you have decided to quit smoking !!!!  best of luck, Robbie.  I just passed my anniversary JUNE 25th - FIVE YEARS SMOKE-FREE!!!   YOU CAN DO IT AND YOU WILL SUCCEED!   keep us posted, i'll give you all the pep talks and support you want.  yay!      xoxo ~Phinney

indigosunmoon said...

So much sickness here in J land.  So very sad.

ryanagi said...

Good luck Robbie! I'm so happy to hear you are quitting. We've lost way too many family members from complications of smoking.  I wish I could quit eating right along with you! :-/  

goldenchildnc said...

Ai caramba! Another person quitting. :::sigh::: I know I have to give it up.  And I've already pondered the thought of getting a prescription for Wellbutrin as well. I know how I am. There's no way my willpower's gonna get me through this one.  Good luck to you honey! Hopefully I'll be quitting along with you.

alphawoman1 said...

You can do it! I've quit at least ten times (lol). THis time I believe is the one that will stick.  Have not had a smoke in over two years. Amazing how much better you will feel very quickly.  

ksgal3133 said...

I'm loving this season of BB!
I know you can quit and we are all here for you :)


momandpato said...

Hi daughter. I too am watching BB live and BB6  is the best yet. I too do not like Yvette or april, but I am afraid James cooked his goose this week even if he wins POV again, then Kasar is by by. Guess what, today  Aug 1st, I too have decided to quit smoking. I got Nicotine gum, 4 mg. My Dr did pulmonary Function on me and I failed. Acute severe COPD and emphysema which is not completely reversible. I am now also on inhaler and Advair. Love you ! Momandpato

deabvt said...

I better check that quicknet too!
Robbie`s gone national! Woo Hoo!

pollysci said...

This fellow BB addict is stoked for your caption feature!!! I, too, hope that Kaysar and Janelle make it far...with Howie in tow. :)

I applaud you on your decision to quit smoking.  I've been having the same life evaluating thoughts myself...maybe I'll start my own 43...

~tara :)

txsguinan said...

Wow!  Those 43 things are...a lot of things.  I haven't had a chance to go through them all yet, but I will.  Careful with that yoga thing; you can develop a lot of hostility.  ;)

Good luck with the smoke- quitting!  (Although, I confess ~ I will miss sharing the occasional grub; does that make me a bad person?)  Yes, I've decided it really does.  Yay you!  Quit quit quit.  The Wellbutrin should help.   :)

lazarai said...

Hi Robbie,

I'm the person who suggested Quitnet to Pam and I applaud your decision to quit, as well. I quit a 27-year, 2-packs-a-day habit over 6 years ago now using the Quitnet, Zyban, nicotine patches, along with tons of good old-fashioned willpower. It was NOT easy, but with the support you get at Quitnet, it CAN be done. I suggest that you go over to Quitnet and read as many profiles as you can for inspiration. Mine is there under 'Lazarai' along with thousands of others.

Good luck and let me know if you need any help!


st0rmwhispers said...

I keep thinking its time for me to quit too.  I did quit about a year and a half ago for a few months using wellbutrin and patches.    Very little withdrawal.  I had cut down to 5 cigarrettes by quit day though.  Then my daughter had her accident and I ended up mad at the world and restarted again!  Sometimes I could really kick myself.    I know I am not ready yet to make the commitment but I am sure you can do it if you set your mind to it.  As for me....well I am part way to talking myself into trying again.