Sunday, November 16, 2003

Please sit down

...cause I just got stood up. That's right. At my age! Shit like this still happens. I just can't believe it. This has only happened once before and I was 18 in the Army.

The only thing I can think of is that he was trying some kind of payback because I had to reschedule. We were suppose to go for a bike ride this morning but I called him on Thursday and told him that I didn't think I would be able to but wouldn't know until Saturday if I needed to get together on Sunday with my group. He said he was fine with that just so long as we got to see each other. I called last night when I got home from school and left a message for him. He called me at noon today while I was at CSUN. He said he had just woke up and that it was fine and we could get together for dinner. So, I drove the 20 f'in miles to the restaurant that I asked him to pick since I was having to switch everything up on him. I waited....and waited somemore. I walked around to see if maybe we were waiting at different entrances or something. I called his cell...nothing....I called his house...nothing. I waited a half hour and came home.

I just don't get it. Why do people have to play stupid f'in games? I'm not like that -- you don't have to read between my lines. I say it like it is and don't say something unless I mean it. I'm so tired of it all. I'd like to just crawl in a hole and hide. But, I can't. I've got to keep subjecting myself to this abuse because I really want to find that someone special and hiding in a hole isn't going to get me what I want. At this point, I wish I just had a booty call. Forget all the stress of trying to get emotionally involved with someone --- just come over and rock my world then get the hell out!

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