Sunday, November 09, 2003

Coming Out of The Darkness

I can't believe I'm doing this but I think everyone who has been showing their "true" identity out there has given me the courage. I'm very private in cyberland. I was stalked once (not in cyberland, but in the real world) and it has made me cautious ever since. But, there's a motive to my maddness. -- I have good news to share.

I stepped on the scale this morning and I've broken down to the next 10lb range. The picture I am sharing is me at my heaviest ever, over 50lbs ago. Yes, 50 f'in lbs. When I was 25 I was a size 8 then the dark time of my life began. I stopped taking care of myself and every year pushed the scales a little higher. It took a while and a hard look at myself to realize I hated who I had become. How could I ever expect anyone to find me desirable if I didn't. When I met Mike I was 30lbs heavier than I am now. It's been slow and methodical and the 0's and 5's always kill me. I hover around them for weeks. But today I broke down to the next level. I still have a lot of work to do. Once I lose about another 20lbs I need to start doing some heavy lifting to get my muscle tone back.

So for all those out there who think it can't be done, I'm here to tell you that you can come back. Don't give up! I eat whatever I want. I'm not on a "diet." But, I'll admit most days I eat quite healthy, salads, yogurt, fruit and what not. But, a chocolate chip cookie or decadent piece of cake every now and then creeps in too. There are many nights that I have Bryers All Natural Vanilla Ice Cream (Yum, it's my favorite) But, it's also the only thing I'll eat. Life's too short. I eat my desert first and skip dinner.

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