Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Who has got the fattest ass of them all?

About a week ago I broke down and bought new underwear because mine would no longer stay up, not because they were raggedy, old, and stretched out but because I had lost so much weight this past year that they were just simply too big. Two sizes too big! I don't think I ever had that happen before.

I felt great! I felt like I had made a significant improvement to my physical health. I don’t know how much exactly I’ve lost because I waited to weigh myself for a couple of months after I had already started losing weight. It seems like a strange thing to do but I was at my heaviest weight ever and I knew if I got on the scale it would thoroughly depress me and potentially thwart my efforts. Knowing how much I’ve lost since I started weighing myself, I estimate the total weight loss though is about fifty to sixty pounds all together.

I still have quite a way to go to reach my ideal weight. Of course, my ideal weight is what I weighed when I was twenty-five years old. Is it possible to return after seventeen years of aging and metabolism slowdown to a size eight? I don’t know but I figure a slow and steady turtle to the finish line is what will win the long term race. I am making lifestyle choices with hopes that this will be a long term accomplishment. All of my clothes are too big for me. I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself, maybe even a little smug.

Then an invitation to a wedding arrived. I decided I needed a new dress since none of my clothes fit and I gave away all of my thinner clothes. I went to Macy’s. I pulled several dresses off the racks and trudged into the dressing room. I hate trying on clothes at department stores. I usually know my size well enough that I just take everything off the rack and go home. But, since I haven’t bought anything since losing weight I really don’t know where my size is falling. So into the dressing room I went only to face the most evil of man’s inventions. The three-way mirror accompanied by fluorescent lighting! You could hear the wails and gnashing of teeth for miles I am sure. I just don’t get why these stores haven’t figured out that a Funhouse Mirror, the kind that stretches you out and makes you look thin, would serve their bottom line, and mine, better than the horror of seeing yourself from every angle possible. Thankfully, I found mercy via Calvin Klein’s rendition of a black tent to cover my horrendous posterior and I also found motivation to keep on with my weight loss regimen. Hmmm...maybe I should get one of those mirrors for the breakroom at work where the other evil invention of man exists in the form of donuts, cakes, cookies, and chocolates.

*** Picture is of a Botero sculpture at the Bowers Museum.

Look Above This Entry

It sure would be nice to be able to embed videos in blog posts. Am I really THAT rusty! I managed to embed it in my template. Can someone help a sistah bloggah out?

Step One

I'm alive and well. I'm just kickin' it - old school, reading books and thinking about what it feels like to have teachers' dirty looks. I've posted a few reviews on my Library Thing account and once in a while I cough up a line or two on the FB. I suppose I could cross post my book reviews here but it's just too much trouble in my mind. Yeah, I'm lazy that way and quite inconsiderate it seems considering how long it has been between posts. I keep promising myself I'll do better but I've gotten to the point I don't believe my lies so I just don't even make the promises anymore.

You, and yes, I mean you, the one solitary reader left of my blog, might be wondering why I posted the picture that I did. It's the first step in reconstructing my new favorite drink. The Cherry Limeade from the Yardhouse. Oh mama! Those things are good! They taste like the Cherry Limeades that Sonic makes but with less fizz and way more kick. But be careful, very, very careful, that kick sneaks up on you about the third drink down the straw.

I love trying to reconstruct new drinks. I suppose much like I do with boyfriends. I try to reconstruct them in the image of that imaginary guy living inside my head. I've come to realize the perfect guy, like the perfect drink, doesn't exist, but I keep getting darn close, with the drink thing anyhow.

My last drink recipe replication was the Basiltini from this swank French place in Pasadena that means the white horse in English but hell if I'm going to try and spell it here. I recreated it great over at Gi's for Thanksgiving. And, yes, it tastes great with Turkey! But, I failed here at home. It tasted like cough syrup. But, I decided she buys better vodka than me. I buy the gallon jug of Skyy at Costco. Not because it's cheap, because it's blue. What can I say? Blue is beautiful!

You're probably wondering what the next step is, aren't you? It's Amaretto. I'm trying to decide if I can cheap out on it or if I should get the Disaronno that costs about ten bucks more a bottle. Recommendations, as well as reservations, are welcome but bring the limes. I've got sweet & sour.

Simply Delicious

I love to cook but only when I'm in the mood. Unfortunately, the other night I wasn't really in the mood for cooking or even for eating for that matter but I had thawed pork chops in the fridge and was afraid if I left them much longer they would go bad. So, I came home from a busy day at work and set myself to make this dish that I saw on the website "Simply Recipes." I didn't make any sides to go with it because I really didn't think I would even eat it that night but once I took the first bite, I was smitten and ate a whole chop for dinner.

This might just be the best dish I have ever made. It's called Porkchops with Mushroom Bourbon Cream Sauce. Other than cooking the liquids down more than the recipe called for and using two different kinds of mushrooms because I couldn't remember or find the ones the recipe called for at the grocery store, I pretty much stuck to the recipe. I think I also cooked the pork longer but it came out so juicy. I don't cook juicy pork. I usually over cook pork as a matter of fact because I grew up in the age where beef was served raw and pork and chicken were cooked 'til they were a step away from being jerky.

Simply amazing! And, the leftovers have heated well in the microwave since. Check out the blog/website. I've found other great stuff there too.

Anniversary Celebrations

I'm late by a couple of days but I just realized that it was six years ago this month that I began blogging on AOL. It was two years after I had first heard of blogs when I was desperately trying to find info regarding the Iraq war and happened upon political commentaries on the matter and first person accounts of people who were over there fighting the war. Eight years later the war still continues to what seems to be no clear end in sight. Six years later my blog is limping equally, murkily along.

Is murkily a word even? I've been doing this so long, I just make the shit up. Heck, I was making it up all along. It's part of the fun of blogging, hiding in the shadows and doing whatever you damn well please.

Two other anniversaries passed in August that I sadly did not take the time to recognize here. One, my anniversary for having quit smoking. I don't recall how many years it has been but if I dug through my archives I could find it. One of the pluses of regular blogging, or perhaps sometimes one of the negatives: a record of your activities. And, two, occurred two years ago, I began my cat painting, barely. I applied tissue to the canvas and haven't touched it since. I really, really, began it last night and continued tonight. Heck, I might just finish before the weekend. It's craft quality acrylics I'm applying. They dry almost as fast as I squeeze them out of the bottle much like the digital ink on a blog.

Hate On Me

It's funny how things plop into your lap sometimes at just the right moment for the message to be received. I don't watch Glee but I might just start. This song rocks and I needed to hear it. As my favorite Atlanta housewife says: "Let your haters be motivators!"

Invest in Women

I didn't mean to take a blog break but somehow did nonetheless. I'll try to dust the cobwebs off around here and start writing again. Or at the very least share my odd ruminations from time to time. Here's to a new start:

"Experts now agree that one of the best ways to end poverty and fight terrorism, to fight extremism, is to invest in women." ... Sheryl Wudunn

You've got to watch the video of her discussion with Steven Colbert from The Colbert Report, but somehow I can't get it to embed here. Clearly, it's been too long. So, please, follow the link. Interesting stuff to think about. Invest in women!

Happy 4th of July!!!

I really hope this tastes as good as it looks! As I said on Facebook, in recognition of the holiday, be independent and pursue happiness.

Live...

I made a fourth postcard but I'm not sure I like. I keep messing with it so I decided to move on and figure out what I want to do with it later. So...here is postcard numbered five. I'm not done yet but so far I am loving it. The coolest thing is that it is a deconstructed postcard which I found on a billboard one day at lunch. So, I used a postcard to make a postcard. :-D

Lorakeet Love and Social Networking

This is postcard numbered three going out tomorrow. The silhouette is of a lorakeet that I took a picture of a while back. The paper is the packaging from my last toothpaste purchase. I thought the color combo would be fun to make something with and reuse, recycle, etc.

I tried to send this and the detail pictures to Facebook but it's acting up. I swear it gets frustrating at peak times how slow that site gets. But, so far I am really enjoying connecting with all my friends and family, some were quite long lost. I haven't decided yet if I'll link this blog over there but if you know my last name you can find me there.

I've been thinking about Facebook and how it reminds me of the old days of AOL when there was a tight, fun, community feel to it. I think Facebook is really cool because it's like an ongoing conversation with a community of people and some aren't even your friends, there are friends of friends dialoging. Pretty cool stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I want to add Twitter to the mix. It seems like there is just too much to keep up with so I have been reluctant to do so. I was trying to figure out what the difference is between Blogging, Tweeting, and Facebooking and I think I figured it out somewhat, for me anyhow. Blogging is for times where you want to elaborate and record an event or idea more extensively. It can be a past, present, or future kind of entry. Tweeting is a short blast of what you are currently doing. I think it even says, "What are you doing?" Whereas, Facebook is more about what you are thinking or feeling. It's a place to blast a quick emotive response to what is currently going on because it asks, "What's on your mind?" Although, Facebook does have games and crap too which makes it more dimensional. I haven't checked Twitter out enough to see if it's more than the texting interface that it seems to be to me.

Clowning Around

I have decided to try my hand at some handmade postcards. This one hits the mail on Monday. I have another one in the works but I'm not sure I like it. So, I guess it's not done. We'll see. It's funny how things take a path of their own. I had no intention of making this look like a clown. But, smack on a red ball to the nose and it does. I wanted to put "heads up" on this but for some reason the yellow paint called my name and it wound up as "live." Go figure! Now, who to send it to is the question. I had one person in mind but perhaps I'll send it to another...hmmm... Keep an eye on your mailbox, something could be coming to you!

Bad Buddha Returns

It has been months since I've done anything creative. I haven't made any cards since October. I figured that perhaps a little play and experimentation would break this trend. I'm using a book that has pictures of a fashion designer's trip through China, so it seemed only appropriate the first spread have an Asian theme. I've only just begun so who knows where this will end up.

On the right is a drawing I did a while ago and posted on here that I called "Bad Buddha," hence the name of the entry. When I applied the gel to it, it smeared the red pen and turned it a kind of pinkish color, but I think it works. I was going to tape the eyes over it that you see at the top of the picture but I can't bring myself to cover it up. I'll have to use them elsewhere. I'll post more pictures as I progress.

Calling All Greenthumbs

I bought this plant at Trader Joe's earlier this week for eight bucks and I'm loving it. It's so fragrant with two different kinds of mint and a lavender plant. It's called "Tea Time" herbs. It provides a recipe to make a "Cup of Zen" tea which I have yet to make. But, the mint makes a refreshing Mojito. I don't have a green thumb though. I fear before too long this will be dead. Any insights on how to keep it alive is appreciated.

It's Gotta Be a Guy

Every now and then a commercial airs that just screams to me that a man wrote it. When I saw this one, I knew no woman would write something so vulgar and tacky. My "favorite" of the blatancy is the "V" shaped bush towards the ending.

Ummm...enjoy.

How long would you wait?

I came to the laundromat to wash my rugs in the large capacity machine. Both were full when I got here but completely done. I waited fifteen minutes before removing the quilt. It's been at least another fifteen or twenty minutes and they just showed up as I was typing. Please let them try to say something to me.

Update: If you enlarge the picture, you can see sheets on the table in the background. Those people actually waited for the other machine to be emptied by the machine hogs. Ha! And, they were there before me. I am sooooooooo glad I didn't wait. It took forever to dry those darn rugs and no, they didn't say anything to me.