Tuesday, January 31, 2006


When I was a teenager, I remember my brother, Chris, in an accusatory voice telling me I'd grow up to marry a millionaire. I think it was meant to be an indictment of materialism, but the whole of the conversation escapes me now. What I remember, and the point of me remembering that conversation all these years later, is my response to him: "No! I'll grow up and be a millionaire."

Money wasn't the issue for me, it was independence. I didn't want to rely on anyone. I wanted to do it myself. I doubt that I'll ever be a millionaire. I'm not exactly trying. I don't need oodles of money to be happy, just enough to live comfortably. Much more beyond that and it becomes about power. Power isn't important to me, independence is. I think it would be easy to blur the two though.

In spite of all this strong, independent, mindedness, I've never really been a women's libber type. It's not that I don't believe in women's rights, or the camaraderie we should draw from each other to fight for what is rightfully ours, I've just never had the outward anger towards men that usually comes with it. I guess because I'm not looking to turn the tables, I just want a seat at it.

However, I can't help hearing the rallying cry, "Towanda!" and getting juiced by it. I watched the movie, "Fried Green Tomatoes," the weekend before last. I had seen it before, but it had been a long time. I forgot just how great that movie is. It's about strength of character, strength of spirit, and strength of heart. A reviewer on the site I linked above states that "they became more than the sum of their parts," in reference to the female relationships of the movie. It's an awesome feeling to find a strong connection like that, and even more so when women work together to accomplish something that one might think requires a man.

On Sunday, I had my own opportunity for a "Towanda!" moment - four women moving an apartment full of furnishings. Not really a big deal until you face down the couch of opposition. It's a wicked beast that nearly took down two very capable men and a wall to get it into the apartment. So, how were four women going to get it out? Where there's a will, there's a way! As Trish kissed the money she paid for it goodbye, Gigi and I began cutting off the upholstery. Once it laid bare, Paula and I began dismantling the couch with a hammer. We were then able to cart it out the door piece by piece and disposed of it in the dumpster. Towanda!


Lisa :-] said...

What would you have done if you wanted to USE that couch again? :) Actually, I suppose you could have taken it apart and put it back together again.

When it come to doing the heavy stuff, I find there is very little I can't do if I put my mind to it. It's a matter of using brains rather than brawn. And not caring if it takes a little longer to get the job done than if you had beast of burden (a man) present.

Becky said...


Just a moment of silence for the couch of opposition. LOL

gigi said...

Ha-ha! Hey ~ I am a women's libber type, and I don't believe anyone can accuse me of outward anger towards men; that's just a stereotype perpetrated by the He-Man Woman-Haters Club(see 'Our Gang'.) Personally, I adore men. Just not some very specific men. And most of them are in government (see 'The entire Republican Party'.)

You are one of the sassiest and most independent women I know. And I totally loved the way you and Paula took control of that couch.

Towanda, baby! That's how we roll! ;D

Paul said...

Mind my P's and Q's??? What are you, 100? Men coulda got the couch out in one piece, Bay-bee. Towanda, ha!!!

ChasingMoksha said...

I think it is unfair to collectively call feminists men haters or having anger towards men, --that makes it too personal. I feel like I am a feminist and I do not hate men or angry at most of them, I am angry with any that attempt to bully me. I will call them on the carpet. I will point out their unwillingness to share power/control –most of all self-entitled privileges, but I do not hate them. I do believe, if I was cornered to admit it, that women overall are intellectually and emotionally more superior. Not saying that women are so far superior that men cannot catch up, but I believe superior nevertheless. And that belief that women are superior is what I think drive men to desperately try to maintain control. It is as if they know it too, they sense it. Actually now that I am thinking about it, it is not as if men do not have the capability of being emotionally and intellectually equal to women, it is their innate laziness or again self entitlement for them to reap the most less effort. They would have to work to have the same amount of emotional and intellectual intelligence that women have, so it is easier for them to utilize and employ ideology to keep women in an oppressive state. Of course, it is easier, since at least 50% of women help them out freely. I have just as much of a problem with those women that help men stay in power as I do with the men, and the women who think the solution is replacing one oppressor for another.

Anyway, I agree with Lisa, I think I can do anything that "men" can do if I put my mind to it. However, that is a hard task, because I get pissed really fast. Like when a screw will not come off or something.

But you know what? The girls that are now young and teenagers and early twenties seem to be more mechanical. I see it with my daughters all the time. It is as if they developed the ability because no one told them that they did not have it. I was told all the time not to worry about something that was meant for a boy/man to do. No wonder I did not develop the skills.

I have still not seen Fried Green Tomatoes.

Coy said...

I love this entry Robbie, feel I could have written the first few sections myself if I had a little time for reflection on my hands.

I've been away to long ... visiting you and some of my other favorite former J-Landers today was so inspiring.

*** Coy ***