Friday, April 09, 2004

I'm not a writer.

I have a confession to make. I am not a writer. Really, I’m not. I hate writing. I equate writing with childbirth.  Mind you, I have never been pregnant.  But, I’ve been around pregnant women.  I’ve seen women in labor. And, I’ve witnessed two births. If I am required to write something for school, or work even, I collect the information – mostly in my head. I jam it in there until it feels like I will explode by entering another morsel of thought. You know, kind of like growing a baby inside the womb. It grows and grows until the mother’s stomach is so tight it looks like she might burst at any minute. Then the labor starts.

 

For the most part, I don’t use outlines. I feel like they stifle me. I might use them for a test where there are specific points that I must touch upon in order to earn the full credit. But, in other areas, such as term papers and what have you, I don’t use outlines. I stare at the paper, or computer screen, and begin to type. Maybe a line or two, and then I walk away. I come back erase what I have written and go at it again. The clock ticks and I stress about the deadline looming near. Yet, like a baby, it will not come out until it is ready and in due time. So, I fight it. I stress and I struggle to get anything down. I start to write a sentence and it doesn’t seem quite right.  Owwww! That felt like a labor pain. But, something gives a little and a line or two makes its way onto the page. And then another line and another and the words begin to flow, until finally, the baby is born.  

 

But, I tell you I am not a writer! I hate writing. I am a journaller! Huh? How can that be? Is there a difference? Most certainly! When I journal it’s free flowing. It’s whatever is on my mind. It’s chewing cud, mind cud. Thoughts that have rumbled around in my head that somehow work their way onto the page. That is me a journaller. As soon as it becomes a chore, or a task, I become a writer. And, I hate to write. But, journaling I love. It’s how I decipher those rumbles and finally put them to rest. I began making a list of ideas to write about here because things would come to me when I was away from my keyboard.  I have yet to go back to that list and write because those things have now become a chore. But, I will try. I will try tomorrow to finally take a bite out of that list. But, in between I need to journal because that is me and this is Robbie’s Ruminations. 

18 comments:

sistercdr said...

Ah, you're a writer, you just don't know it.  You just need to be in charge from the concept to the end. School can zap the joy from writing in many people.  I'm glad you've got your journal where you can really be a writer, and I'm very glad I get to read it.

somenuttychic said...

You are too a writer. Liar, liar, pants on fire! Ha! <wink>

(Whatever you choose to call yourself, what ends up here is good stuff.)

aiibrat said...

Uh, methinks you are a really good writer/journaler.  You write what interests you & thereby, I get interested in what you write.  -=) So, I'll be back when you start on that list?

deabvt said...

Robbie, did you take that Photo? It`s beautiful.
Vince

barebytes said...

WOW! You've done something that I still hope to witness. Childbirth, I'd love to witness that! Almost had the chance a few times but always something happened to take that joy away from me. As to your writing, you are a writer, that's why we are readers. Hugs Lanny

dymphna103 said...

I am with you I am not a writer and when I sit here I just say what is on my mind   john

mw15mw99 said...

This is quite an interesting way to look at your writing 'gift'. I have never liked labels anyway, so you can be whatever you want to be as long as you keep Sharing your wonderful thoughts and words with the world. I am always eager to hear 'Robbie’s Ruminations'.  You have added a great deal to my life.
Have a wonderful weekend. Hope there is a little down time for you. Wonder if you will be taking one of those hikes????
As always, you have made an impression on me with your words. Thanks
:) Kate

indigosunmoon said...

And a fine journaler you are!  

lisbnjvi said...

Hi Robbie!  Just stopping by to say Hello and to let you know that I have a bunch of reading to do in your journal!  I haven't forgotten you and just wanted you to know that!!  
Hugs and lots of love,
Lisa

hunybea4him said...

I like how you equate child birth to writing.  In a sence it is true.  A thought or a seed is planted in you, it grows and grows untill you HAVE to get it out on the page and then after a strugle to get it just right, there is your baby, some thing that was jointly created, beatuiful some times, sometimes it takes awhile to grow but still it is out there in the world, no longer in your head. : )

babyshark28 said...

ooh. you are a writer Robbie, you are.
maybe you don't like the actual act of it....but, your a writer.
take care. :)

karensull12 said...

I feel exactly the same way...journalling is easy and that's what makes it feel so good.  When you are required to do something, it gets difficult.  If it feels like a job, I don't want to have anything to do with it!

jlreynolds said...

Yes, Robbie, you ARE a writer!  Take the credit you deserve and admit it.. YOU are a writer!

rrveh1 said...

Smiles..Cool analogy...Write On!!
Writers are "those who write" or in J-Land-types...(or writes stock options.) :)
A writer nor poet I be-just late at night my thoughts I pen (type) for thee :)_RRose

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Writing and Childbirth, ey?  LOL  I actually enjoy writing, and always have.  It's just not something I get to practice much anymore.  Life has other plans for me.  

As for labor....yea, it sucks big time.  That's why I'm having another C-section.  Planned, this time.  I'll just dodge that whole icky labor step!  <grin>

txsguinan said...

Oh...peesh tosh. You are a writer...there's no point in denying it so just relax and enjoy.  And so will we.  sheesh... :)

freeepeace said...

Um ... I hate to break it to you ... but ... you ARE a writer.  No matter how you go about it.  You're expressing yourself through words - that alone makes you a writer.  And a damn good one at that!  OWN IT BABY!

musenla said...

Well guess what?  Journaling IS writing!  You just feel unconstricted in this forum, that's all.  And we all love the results!

Great analogy between writing and pregnancy, made me laugh.  I feel like that with my entries sometimes, but when I hit my stride, the thoughts and the words keep flowing.  I guess it's an easy "preganancy" for me, more often than not!