...to Dazeychic (and to anyone else who might want to read):
Thank you for taking the time to comment on my journal. I usually don't leave replys back in my journal but from time to time will email someone if they ask a question or leave a thought provoking comment. However, this time I feel compelled to so that others who may have misunderstood my motivation for writing my Clique entry, might understand better.
I get the impression from what you've said that you are taking my entry personally. My entry was not a response to what you or Nikki wrote. It was an answer to Andrea's question, if I thought there were Cliques in J-land and my feelings regarding the matter. If you read it again, you'll see that it wasn't a direct response to your feelings. As a matter of fact, I specifically stated that I didn't leave comments on your journals because I didn't want to negate the feelings you two were sharing. I even gave the thesis of my writing when I said "each time I feel the same sense of ire boil in my soul. I've tried to evaluate why it evokes this emotion" - "So why does the use of the word offend me so? Because it's a victim word and a finger pointing word. It's a word that is so easily used but takes no responsibility."
You're not the first person to mention Cliques. In my entry I was exploring why the word evoked such a strong emotion in me and how someone might take responsibility for their feelings when they did use the word. I was sharing what life lessons I have learned regarding the matter. Your statement in your journal and in your response in my journal mentioned specifically me referencing comments. "Im not quite sure how some got the impression I was talking about comments in my own journal...because I would never say that. Dont get me wrong, I loooove comments here...but that wasn't the issue." I am making the assumption that the "some" you refer to here, is me. My mentioning comments in my entry was an extension of my reference to comments on my journal being ego-boosting, but not why I write. After all, you weren't the journaler who mentioned me having twenty comments. And, once again, it wasn't the first time in J-Land I heard mention of how many comments someone gets or doesn't. I was addressing my feelings on comments and if that was important to someone what they could do to rectify the matter. Because all of us have different motivations for writing our journals. I don't judge someone for wanting comments. It's not my place to make judgements on someone's motivation for writing, or their feelings regarding something.
I do, however, ask someone to take responsibility for their feelings. And, that is why I stated this: "What about those that you have ignored who have reached out to you? Not everyone will be responsive but don't take it personally. Maybe their life is full at the moment and they've got all they can handle." Often times, what someone feels is a result of what's going on inside of them and they should look at themselves, and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
I find it amusing that this is the first time you have been by my journal, especially after expressing your feelings about cliques in J-Land. You see, I've been reading your journal for quite some time. I've even left comments there, but you have never responded to me, or acknowledged my presence. I decided to go back and see just how many messages I have left in your journal. I am including them here:
Shelli ... I hope you don't mind but I linked to this article in my journal. I wanted to write about what I think of this and trust in general. Stop by if you want. But most of all don't let this get you down. You're not being paranoid -- you were wise in what you did. http://journals.aol.com/krobbie67/RobbiesRantsRaves/
Comment from krobbie67 - 11/15/03 1:30 AM
That's just the sweetest thing. I feel like such a voyeur ~ okay so I'm not a voyeur. What is it when I'm listening? I'm not an eavesdropper because you posted it for me to hear. mmmh I'll be pondering that one all day. :-) Love your journal. I get a burst of energy everytime I stop by.
Comment from krobbie67 - 11/26/03 7:53 AM
It's a couple of miles away but I live near George Clooney. Well, actually probably a lot of other people too, after all it is L.A. But, where I hike goes right past Georgie's house. I'm like you though, I'd never tell. woops is that what I just did mmh?
Comment from krobbie67 - 11/30/03 12:17 AM
Your age belies you. You are wise beyond your years.
Comment from krobbie67 - 12/8/03 11:00 AM
Happy Birthday!!! And, what a wonderful trip your mind's wandering took me on. Thanks. ---Robbie
Comment from krobbie67 - 1/6/04 11:11 PM
I never felt ill will for you not replying. I figured maybe you had been by my journal and felt you couldn't relate to me since I am so much older and my topics consisted of different topics then you might be interested in. Or, maybe your plate is full and you just didn't have time for me. You see, I didn't take it personally, and I didn't think you were being "cliquey"
Based on your entry yesterday, it seems you have felt exactly that when you went to other journals, "I feel like I shouldn't comment in "cliquey" journals. Like, I dont fit in their group so why should I even say anything? Silly questions like, well, am I wasting my time investing in this person? Or Am I saying something that doesn't fit in properly. Does my comment even matter?" It's sad that you feel that way. But, it's not that journalers fault or responsibility for what you feel. Your feelings are your own, and you should own them. It makes me feel like you are trying to control the actions and motivations of people in J-land. What gives you the right? There are journals out there about topics that I can't relate to and/or don't feel comfortable leaving a comment on. Do I hold that journaler responsible for my feelings. No. It's their piece of the cyber-worldto do with as they see fit.
You further condemn other journalers by stating the following: "but if your journal is one of the few that ooze with popularity-contest-type-mentality...you must own up to that." It seems to me you are pointing your finger at people and still have three pointing back at you. After all, you have a list with the heading "Journals to Envy" on your website and a link for "Awards and Recognition." I would think that oozes a bit of the "popularity-contest-type-mentality." I guess ultimately what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but each person's journal is their own, just like our feelings are our own. Do not judge. Carve a niche for yourself in this world and enjoy yourself.
To steal a line from Freee: "Follow the love."