Thursday, January 15, 2004

Truth or Fiction

#1. I go hiking at a park in the Santa Monica Mountains, better known as the Hollywood Hills. One of the trails I take dumps you out on a street and you walk down through a residential area to get back to the park. One day as I was walking along the street, I came upon a man walking a pot-bellied pig. I didn't think too much of it because you see all kinds of things in Los Angeles. As I got closer to the man, I realized I recognized him but couldn't quite place his face at first. He needed a shave and was wearing a baseball cap. I commented about his pig and he looked up at me and said something back, of which I don't recall because that's when I realized it was George Clooney. It flustered me when I realized who he was and I said something I'm sure was totally stupid and kept on walking down the street.

#2. I was hanging out at a hole in the wall bar in San Antonio. There was a small group of us there, and I was the only female. I knew all of the guys fairly well. The owner and I had went out a couple of times. One of the guys present was an ex-boyfriend's brother-in-law and a few others who I don't remember. I forget which one brought it up but they dared me to dance on the bar topless, one even offered me something like a $100 to do it. We had all been drinking but I wasn't that drunk, yet! I said something about not having a clue how to strip, which led to the brilliant idea that we should close the bar for the night and go up the street to the local strip club, female strip club. I've always been an inquisitive person who likes to try new things, within limits, obviously broad limits. Amazingly enough I had a blast. I was stunned that these women were not perfect. There were women with cellulite even and some weren't even very well endowed. At the dare of one of the guys, I went up to the stage and put a tip in a dancers g-string. Although it was fun, I still prefer to see a man strip. Anyone up for a lesson?

#3 When I was in the Army, I took a cab to the mall to do some shopping. I caught a cab back to base with a guy who was going my way. He was a carnival worker who was stuck in town because his rig broke down and the carnival had to move on without him. The carnival had been set up across from the base golf course. When we got tohis stop, he asked me if I would like to get out with him and have a drink at the club house at the golf course. I did. We chatted and spent the rest of the day together. He took me back to his rig and gave me some of the toys from the game his rig pulled. He didn't want things to end yet and asked me to travel with him for the weekend to the next town the carnival was at, which was several hundred miles away. In the military if you go something like 100 miles away from base you are suppose to have a pass to go or you are considered AWOL. I was having fun and didn't have to report back for work for two days. I was young, impetuous, and adventurous so I said what the hell and went with him trusting that he would get me back like he promised. So, for a weekend I took off with a stranger and lived in the world of a carney.

#4. One time a girlfriend and I were eating at a Wendy's Fast Food Restaurant in a small town in North Carolina. My girlfriend said, "Bob Hope just walked in." Thinking Bob Hope would have no reason to be in po-dunkville, let alone at a Wendy's, I quipped back, "Yeah, and Lucille Ball is right behind him," before proceeding to turn around and see nothing. I told her she was crazy and we finished our lunch. When we walked out of Wendy's, there was an old man sitting in the passenger side of a Mercedes by himself chomping down on a burger. She said it was him and rushed over to knock on the window. The gentleman rolled the window down and sure as shit it was Bob Hope! He was very kind and funny and didn't mind the two strange women bugging him in the privacy of his vehicle. He gave my girlfriend his autograph and even made a couple of funny quips throughout the conversation.

Take a gander. What is true and what is false?

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