When I started my journal, I never contemplated how much my life would change as a result. I never thought that friendships would be built through this medium. For someone who has difficulty trusting people, I've done my best not to be too emotionally involved in situations that occur here in J-Land. I do this by keeping people in a neat little package in the recesses of my mind that I open only when I enter the door of their journal. But, damn you all, somehow you have crept out of the corner of my mind and planted yourselves into my heart. I worry about you and feel tremendous guilt that I don't give back all that I receive from you. I do the same with my "real world" family and friends. I worry that things I say or do, or things I don't say or do, will hurt. I guess it's the cost I pay for caring -- guilt.
Life is really hectic for me right now. The day before I left on vacation I had to let someone at work go. I almost didn't go on vacation but figured what would 2 1/2 days of vacation hurt the accounting process. (Ha... it did a lot.) Here it is almost half way into the month and I haven't closed last month yet. I will be working a tremendous amount of hours until I get someone hired and trained. I'm going in today even. I used yesterday to run around and take care of much needed errands like grocery shopping (no milk and coffee in the Robbie household makes for a very irritable Robbie) and a trip to the post office to drop off a birthday present for a dear "real world" friend that was several weeks overdue. I ran to Target and picked up much needed cleaning supplies so that the Swiffer could be put to rest in the dumpster. I need to clean the swamp that is my bathroom, do laundry, pay bills and all the other ills that plague us on a daily basis. I need to call my dad and see how he is fairing through all these hurricanes that are ravaging Florida. Is Jacksonville Beach far enough North not to have been affected?
I guess what I'm trying to say through the fog in my mind that the coffee hasn't had the opportunity to lift yet is that I miss spending time writing here but more importantly reading everyone else's journals. I'll carry all of my "internet-world" friends and family with me as I go about my life just like I do with my "real-world" friends and family. Little by little the "internet-world" and "real-world" lines are blurring. As scary as it is sometimes, I am so very grateful. Like yesterday when I came home from running around town, I found a package on my doorstep from a wonderful friend that brought back the fun memories of our confluence. Thanks Robin! You made my day. And, I'll carry you with me always. I just hope that it is enough, for now anyhow.