Sunday, September 12, 2004

I'll carry you with me

When I started my journal, I never contemplated how much my life would change as a result.  I never thought that friendships would be built through this medium.  For someone who has difficulty trusting people, I've done my best not to be too emotionally involved in situations that occur here in J-Land.  I do this by keeping people in a neat little package in the recesses of my mind that I open only when I enter the door of their journal.  But, damn you all, somehow you have crept out of the corner of my mind and planted yourselves into my heart.  I worry about you and feel tremendous guilt that I don't give back all that I receive from you.  I do the same with my "real world" family and friends.  I worry that things I say or do, or things I don't say or do, will hurt.  I guess it's the cost I pay for caring -- guilt.

Life is really hectic for me right now.  The day before I left on vacation I had to let someone at work go.  I almost didn't go on vacation but figured what would 2 1/2 days of vacation hurt the accounting process. (Ha... it did a lot.) Here it is almost half way into the month and I haven't closed last month yet.  I will be working a tremendous amount of hours until I get someone hired and trained.  I'm going in today even.  I used yesterday to run around and take care of much needed errands like grocery shopping (no milk and coffee in the Robbie household makes for a very irritable Robbie) and a trip to the post office to drop off a birthday present for a dear "real world" friend that was several weeks overdue.  I ran to Target and picked up much needed cleaning supplies so that the Swiffer could be put to rest in the dumpster.  I need to clean the swamp that is my bathroom, do laundry, pay bills and all the other ills that plague us on a daily basis.  I need to call my dad and see how he is fairing through all these hurricanes that are ravaging Florida.  Is Jacksonville Beach  far enough North not to have been affected?

I guess what I'm trying to say through the fog in my mind that the coffee hasn't had the opportunity to lift yet is that I miss spending time writing here but more importantly reading everyone else's journals.  I'll carry all of my "internet-world" friends and family with me as I go about my life just like I do with my "real-world" friends and family.  Little by little the "internet-world" and "real-world" lines are blurring.  As scary as it is sometimes, I am so very grateful. Like yesterday when I came home from running around town, I found a package on my doorstep from a wonderful friend that brought back the fun memories of our confluence.  Thanks Robin! You made my day.  And, I'll carry you with me always. I just hope that it is enough, for now anyhow.

18 comments:

merelyp said...

Of course it is enough, you silly Floater.  I have to go to the post office myself.  My niece's birthday was August 27th.
Oh, real world... so inconvenient.
Love,
Mumsy, who is still savoring See's confections and a Sunday in September

lisita15 said...

Hey Robbie... You own your own business??? who are looking to hire??? an assistant??? a virtual OA???? let me know... I am always looking for an opportunity to find a way to work out of my house... write to me off-line!!!

barebytes said...

Whatever you can give us of yourself, will be just enough to make us want more. Hugs Lanny

robbush6 said...

You're welcome. Of course it is. More than enough. Now quit mopping with sanitary pads. Jamaican Me Crazy. You don't want that to happen.

indigosunmoon said...

I've gotten to know so many wonderful people because of journaling.  I never expected this.  
You are such a dear sweet person Robbie!  The gift you received from Robin is so great!!
I'm glad you had a great time visiting her and Mumsy!
Much love to you,
Connie

readmereadyou said...

Guilt? You have to be Catholic or Jewish! LOL! I'm Catholic. ; )

sistercdr said...

You're such a caring woman.  I know you'll get everything done and hope it doesn't leave you too ragged.

ggal3133 said...

What a beautiful gift that you received and great timing :)

judithheartsong said...

You are a dear, dear person and are cherished here by all.

ckays1967 said...

ah...........how beautiful is this picture?????


I am so glad that you had a great time.  xxoo

mlraminiak said...

...and here I am, sitting in a motel room is Grass Pants (Grants Pass), halfway to a meeting with anouther jourmaler in Brookings tomorrow.  I had the oddest feeling driving down here....like I must be crazy.  But these journal land relationships have a reality to them that goes beyond the online world.  Lisa :-]

freeepeace said...

Pfft - WHATever!  Hurry and get back here already!  :P  [lol - what am I, in Phoenix?!]

On a more serious note - UGH!  I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough time at work.  That's a real drag...and the LAST thing you need on your plate.  But, just take one moment at a time.  That's all you can do.  Hire someone to clean and do laundry.  Just this once even.  It'll be worth it!  I'll be happy to do your grocery shopping and run errands for you.  Hunny, Winnie and Sparky will join me. [actually, how far is the Laurel Canyon Dogpark from you?]

Breathe through your days...we'll be here.  There's nothing you need to "do" or "say" to continue to be a good friend.  Just be you. :)

babyshark28 said...

busy lady!  :D
I understand. lately I have felt overwhelmed, and it's just my life at the house! :p
j-land is magical place, isn't it? I am like you, I don't trust very well. I keep everyone at a distance, until otherwise.  whatever that means.
guilt! ugh.   I hate that feeling.

It's funny you mention, jacksonville beach. I lived there for almost 2 years. It did get hit by hurricane floyd while I was there.  but, it was just a tropical depression by then....but, it did do some damage.  hurricanes, like any natural disaster...are just plain scary.

derossetfamily said...

I dont even know what to comment on because I just read your past six entries LOL. I guess, just, I love you!! :D
~Mary

deabvt said...

Ah, robbie, so busy!
Prayers for your Dad & all in harm`s way.
V

diannevan said...

I spent two months this summer hardly writing any entries and only reading about a half dozen entries from my friends' journals.  Life got in the way.  I feel like I'm totally out of the loop now, even though I'm trying to be back full time, but it'll all work out.  For now, my Bloglines list is overflowing and eventually, with enough caffeine, I will get through them all.  

slowmotionlife said...

I think we've all been affected so much more than we imagined when we first started our journals.  But I truly believe we only get from it what we put in.  And that should be a huge testiment to the influence and hard work you've put into this community.  We're blessed in your care.  :)

What a sweet gift!  I love the photo of you three.  That Mumsy sure does get around, huh?  She's met pretty much EVERYONE in AoL-J at this point.  tehehe.. little social butterfly.  I love it.  :)

alphawoman1 said...

As my first year anniversity looms this week, I realize how overwhelming this whole expereince has been for me.  Sometimes good, sometimes puzzling but most certainly it has altered my life in little suble ways.  I never travel without a camera, and I'm always thinking.....how can I write about this???? I envy you all really.....