Saturday, July 17, 2004

Music, Marriage, and Mommies.

I rushed over to Kevin's after work on Tuesday. I needed to make a quick change out of my work clothes and into something casual and comfortable for our trek to Anaheim. We were meeting up with two of Kevin's friends who live down in Orange County. Amazingly enough, thanks to the carpool lane, we arrived in Anaheim in record time.

The opening act was Butterfly Boucher. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed most all of her music even though I hadn't heard of her prior to that night. Although, after a while her music began to all sound the same to me. Her music is a bit more edgy. As such, she was a great warm up act for Sarah McLachlan.

I must confess that I was concerned that I would be bored at the concert because I really haven't listened to Sarah's music all that much. So I thought. I don't own any of her CD's and I rarely listen to the stations that play her. Yet, it seems I actually knew more of her songs than I realized. The concert was wonderful. It was a complete sensory experience. The music, lights, cinematography, and set created a magical, mystical environment which complemented Sarah's voice and body movements. She's an incredibly talented woman with a down-to-earth persona. There weren't a bunch of wardrobe changes. She wore the same top and pair of jeans throughout. She talked about her music and what had motivated her to write some of the lyrics. She talked about the challenges of being a new mother and about her love for her husband. She created an intimate setting in a large venue. And, you could feel her gratitude towards the audience. She doesn't take her fans for granted. Most artists will return to perform one or two more songs for the encore. Sarah sang an additional six or more. I lost count. She has won me over as a fan.

The funny part of the night was that I have never seen so many lesbians in one place in all of my life. And, that says a lot considering I was in the Army. Heck, Kevin's friends that we went with were even a lesbian couple who are expecting their first baby. It was heartwarming to see the love and concern  the non-pregnant one had for her wife. It got me to thinking about how ridiculous and unfair this marriage ban that Bush is pushing really is. Here is a couple who are having a baby. They will both raise that baby as their own. Yet, what rights will the non-birth mother have towards that child. I was telling Kevin that I would be afraid and would want some kind of leverage if I wasn't the birth mother. After all, people do break up and sometimes break ups get ugly. Even in "traditional" marriages, the children are used as pawns sometimes. Those couples can turn to the court system to help resolve conflicts on visitation and child support. Being that gays and lesbians aren't recognized by the law as being legally united, does that mean they don't have those same rights?

There's been a lot of talk about the marriage ban in J-Land. Some of it has been quite heated. It saddens me to see the polarization. Personally, I think the Bush Administration has been pushing it so strongly right now in order to take heat off of them regarding the Iraq fiasco and the 9/11 investigation. I don't expect someone who has strong religious beliefs to change their mind all that easily. Honestly, I don't expect them to approve of it at all. It's their perogative and right to have likes, dislikes, and what-not. However, if we are a democracy then we must find a way to put our personal beliefs to the side when it comes to the rights of another individual.  Bush says that activists are trying to redefine traditional marriage like it means that all people will have to become homosexual under laws that incorporate the ability for gays to marry. That to me is just absurd. And, is why I felt compelled to discuss this here.

I think a lot of fears are born out of ignorance. I am grateful that I have been exposed to people from all different backgrounds. Gay men, lesbians, blacks, hispanics, immigrants from various countries, etc. I've known Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, etc. When I say know, I mean that they have been a part of my life. They have entered my heart. Once you actually know someone and they are part of your life, it's hard to fear them because they are no longer the unknown. You realize that in spite of your differences there is still much that is the same. In spite of skin color, religious beliefs, and sexual preferences, we all have the same basic wants and desires. To love and be loved. How can you hate that? How can you polarize a group and deny them rights based on their differences? I know I can't.

20 comments:

sistercdr said...

In spite of skin color, religious beliefs, and sexual preferences, we all have the same basic wants and desires. To love and be loved. How can you hate that? How can you polarize a group and deny them rights based on their differences? I know I can't.

I can't either

barebytes said...

"I think a lot of fears are born out of ignorance."  Powerful statment and oh so true. Never could understand how some could judge the love of others and denie them the rights that goes along with that love.  Glad you enjoyed Sarha Mclachlan, she is one talented singer. Hugs Lanny

ggal3133 said...

Excellent entry....
The concert sounds inspiring. I've never seen Sarah perform live but happen to catch her on a few occassions on the TV and she has the most beautiful voice.

alphawoman1 said...

I listen quite a bit to talk radio and the main argument against gay marriage is from the religious right....holding up the Bible.  And thank God we do not take everything in the Bible so literally!  Us women, gay or straight, would be in a lot of trouble!

deabvt said...

Ahh, I`m so happy that you enjoyed the concert. My son introduced me to her years ago when her 1st CD came out. Her DVD`s are wonderful also!
V

dmt66frd said...

Sarah McLachlan is a talented singer. I enjoy listening to her.

The issue of gay marriage is a difficult one for me. I'm still trying to decide what I believe on this and why. I do believe gays should be allowed to have civil unions that recognize them as couples by the state. They should be provided full governent sacntioned benefits and protections that gay couples that have made a profound life committment to each other deserve. I think the issue of marriage is a different one though, and much more disturbing in some ways. It's purpose is primarily spiritual to me (not just any one religion) ... representing the union of the masculine and feminine, the yin and yang. Just as in spirit we are both female and male, the union of the female and male partners points towards the devine union of these within each of us. It is meant to be deeply symbolic of a spiritual truth that the foundation of society and the world flows from. To casually change such a fundamental part of society makes me very uneasy. I'll have to think about this some more.

readmereadyou said...

You're right fear is born out of ignorance. Unfortunately people don't bother to become informed.

I love your whole setup here. Graphics/writing.....like a magazine. : )

karensull12 said...

I love Sarah McLachlan (so does my daughter--we have a couple of her CD's).  The concert sounds wonderful.  I think she played here around xmas time and I heard she was amazing.  I don't mind discussions about various topics but what I absolutely hate is how some people insist on shoving their opinions out there and then stating that to think anything but what they think is just absurd and wrong. Basically what a lot of people say is "live and let live" MY way or else you suck or are a:::gasp::: Republican.  I find that highly hypocritical.

fancykat28 said...

I agree with you, Robbie.  I must admit at first I had strong feelings that same sex marriages was wrong.  After thinking about it, our country, our leaders, and our rights as AMERICAN PEOPLE, it is wrong for there to be a ban.  "WE THE PEOPLE"  LIVE "IN THE LAND OF THE FREE"!!!!  That says enough.  Banning same sex marriages will cause more problems for "OUR CHILDREN" in the future.  Does anyone ever truly think about the future anymore????  I totally agree about Bush and his hidden agendas on this issue.  I could go and on about this.  
I'm glad ya'll had such a good time.  The concert sounded FANTASTIC!!  I really like Sara and her music.  She has a unique way about her.  I always like that!! :)
Chrissy

indigosunmoon said...

I absolutely love Sarah Mclachlan!  I have several of her CD's and have
always wanted to see her in concert.

Robbie, if everyone was as fair and open minded and loving as you are,
the world would be a much better place.  Thanks so much for this entry.
Nobody could have said it better.
Lovish!
Connie

jillsislam1 said...

I like your journal, visit mine sometime:
http://journals.aol.com/jillsislam1/AWrinkleinTimeII

dymphna103 said...

Robbie there will always be differences and always people who are only willing to look at things "Their" way.  I am living in a very Republician area and I have fun with them.  So many are what I call plain Rednecks and its alot of fun to get a poke in at them.  That includes my brother.  lol.  Have a good work week...john

mlraminiak said...

I agree with you about Bush's emphasis on the gay marriage ban issue...it is a smoke screen.  It's purely political...a vote-getter.  I don't understand how our politicians can play chess with people's lives like that.  The human factor you mention---the real understanding that we are talking about denyig rights to people who could be our neighbors, our friends, our brothers or sisters----doesn't enter into it at all.  Lisa  :-]

judithheartsong said...

Thank you dear Robbie and a heartfelt Congratulations to you too! p.s. so glad the concert was wonderful, I was thinking of you and trying not to be green with envy! judi

musenla said...

I've said my piece on your previous entry regarding G.W.'s remarks on the gay marriage amendment.  Personally, I think the day when gay marriage becomes legal and acceptable in all states is inevitable and it's about time.  These people love each other, they deserve the same rights and privileges of regular married couples.  

Either they let gays get married or the states and the federal government should get out of the marriage business entirely.  Only civil unions for everyone, let the churches perform marriages as they see fit.  So there.

Anyway, I didn't mean to rant.  Glad you enjoyed the concert, Sarah is a phenomenal performer.

musenla said...

Ack, what's the matter with me.  I hasten to add, congrats on the Journal Awards nomination!  We're in the same category, girl, glad to see I'm in great company.  =P

babyshark28 said...

My friend is really getting into Butterfly Boucher as well.  she has one of her CD's. She said I thought she would like it....but, I don't even remember saying that. hmmm.  my evil twin??  you know,  I can't remember if I said "Good luck in the nomination round!!" I have been so busy going around and around in J-Land. :p  But, really, WELL deserved. :)
I hear ya about the Ban on same sex marriage, I just don't want to get that much into it.  I figure it will be decided without my getting heated up about it. :)  but, it is a GREAT discussion.

slowmotionlife said...

Darlin', as always, you make wonderfully intelligent points.  Well-said.  Bush is insane if he thinks this ban [should he even manage to get it passed] will last past his own term.  The fight will continue.  

Also, I went to Butterfly's website.  Sucky website, unfortunately, and her music files wouldn't load because she was over her bandwidth, but she looks promising!  Too bad you couldn't upload something directly!  ::perk::  :P

plieck30 said...

You seem to be such a level headed young woman. I always enjoy reading your journal. Paula

miarenee24 said...

I've enjoyed Sarah's music for a long time now. Very calm and soothing music.

I've never thought about custody issues for gay/lesbian couples before. That's an interesting point that you brought up. Like you, I have many friends in all walks of life. To this day, the happiest couple I've ever known is a lesbian couple. After getting to know them, I became less judgmental and more open minded. They've been together for twenty years and raised 2 happy children.

Another thought provoking entry :) I'm afraid my reading time has  been interrupted :( I'll check back soon!