Scremo (aka: Screaminremo) has double dog dared us to show our stuff. He took a snapshot of his yearbook but since mine is buried in some closet somewhere I thought I'd just scan the pics from my senior photo shoot. The scan didn't turn out so well but I'm not in the mood for playing with my editing software to make them look right. I think you'll get the jist anyhow. They are old!
(Tell me Remo. Do I still look like a Carney? ;-p)
These photos are twenty years old to be exact. They were taken when I was sixteen and about to begin my senior year of high school. It's hard to believe. It seems so much life has occurred since they were taken. Yet, I feel like I have only blinked my eyes and it has all passed by in an instant.
The one thing I have learned in these past twenty years isthat in spite of all of its challenges, life and the living of it, is a splendid thing. I live my life from a place of gratitude. And, being in a funk like I have been lately makes me feel very ungrateful for all of my blessings. This only compounds my funk because by being in a funk I feel like I am not being grateful for all the good fortune that has been bestowed upon me.
Gretchen (aka: ggal) has an entry listing all the blessings that she has in her life right now. It made me realize I have been allowing myself to be focused on all that I see wrong instead of all that I see right in this world. I think it also helped me see that I'm not as tough of a turd (aka: bitch) as I'd like to think that I am. I know it's hard to believe and ::::gulp:::: even admit but I can be a pretty sensitive person. If I see someone else hurting, I internalize it and make it my own.
I think with all the various troubles facing those around J-Land and some that I am experiencing amongst people I know in the real world, I have allowed it to bring me down and forget all the wonder in my life that I have to be grateful for. I forget how far I have come.
When these pictures were taken, I was facing an uncertain future. Yet, my biggest worry was if my hair looked good for this photo (I had cut it myself -aack) and what boy liked me or didn't. Since then I have managed to do so many things and meet so many wonderful people that I can't imagine my life winding up any differently. Sure, it's had its challenges but I wouldn't give up one of them because in doing so I would have to give up a part of me. You might as well ask me to cut off my right arm. It would be less painful.
"The only limitations [you] have are the ones that [you] accept."
~ ~ Lester Levenson ~ ~