Some journals, mine included, have melancholy themes from time to time. Actually, they can be downright depressing. We have all had difficulties to overcome in our lives. We will probably have more challenges ahead of us. Sometimes, what a person is looking for is someone to believe in them. Sometimes what it takes is for you to believe in yourself, when it seems that no one else will.
However, there are those times in our lives where someone stops to take a moment and say that they care, that they believe. Such a time occurred when I was 15. I had decided to leave home. No, I didn't runaway. But, I was running - away from the life that I felt like I couldn't tolerate another day. Luckily, my 20 year old brother, Andy, was kind enough to take me in. Leaving meant moving to yet another state and school. I didn't think it really mattered, because I didn't think anyone cared. But, I was wrong.
On my last day of school, my English teacher handed me an envelope with just my name written on it. What it contained was a letter and a poem that she had written for me - to me. The letter is dated 3-18-83. It's been over 20 years since I received that envelope, but I still pull it out from time to time. Sometimes to lift my own spirits when I am feeling down, and sometimes to share with others who aren't doing so well themselves. It's a testament to all the people out there who think their life doesn't matter. Sometimes, a few words that you share with someone, can make all the difference in the world, in the world of a child, a friend, or maybe even a stranger.
I don't think this particular teacher knew the magnitude of what she was doing for me when she handed me that envelope many years ago. Her small gesture gave me the strength to become the woman I am today. Her small gesture made me believe, because she showed me that someone else believed in me. So, I share it now with you, because I believe in you!
First the letter:
You are going on a perilous journey - like Ishmael, Huck Finn, Holden and me. Every change in your life is a step towards growing up and becoming more aware of who you are in the world. You are especially special and don't you ever forget it. God never made any junk - only people who, if they try, can become complete. Your journey will not be without pain, regret and fear, but I am excited for you. You will be fine because you are fine. I have faith that life will be good for you because you have a strong conscience and a positive attitude. Be aware of your sorrows for they will make your happinesses even greater.
Now the poem:
I want you to know, when things go wrong;
I want you to know that - all along.
Someone remembers, someone cares
Whatever the load - your burden shares.
I want you to know that come what will
In the deepest vale, on the highest hill
Whatever the rest may say or do
I want you to know that my faith is true.
I want you to know when far apart
When I cannot speak to you - heart to heart
That the things I say to you now are so -
And so, forever - I want you to know.
I want you to know in the after years
In time of sorrow, in time of tears.
Whether the plains or the sea divide
I am still standing your soul beside.
The way is far - the voice is dumb
I cannot speak and I cannot come.
And - maybe my love will not help you so.
But - if it will - well, I want you to know
~~~~~ Virginia W. ~~~~~