Wednesday, November 05, 2003

A Good Day Gone Wrong

Today started out great. Woke up too early but had someone there to distract me for a while. Then, I got a call from Kevin. I ignored his first call I was almost done getting ready and didn't want to be late. But then he called again. I quickly hit ignore which immediately followed with pangs of guilt. What if he's in trouble? I've got to call him back.

He's such a sweetie. He called to tell me an apartment came open in his building. It's Beverly Hills Adjacent which isn't all that far from work. And, I'd love to live so close to Kevin. He's my boyfriend. My gay boyfriend, that is. And, I'm his fag hag, his words not mine. I met Kevin at school. Actually, at CSUN. He appeared as this surly looking intruder on the fringe of a tightly knit group that I had spent my time at LAVC developing. I don't let just anyone into my circle. And, not because I'm a snob, but because I'm skeptical of any one new. I thought who is this punk? What's he doing with Maria? He's not very nice. Too quiet. Not like MY group at all. Is he a grunge? What's with that eyebrow ring? Well boy was I WRONG (see earlier entry about bumper stickers --- labels, bad. Robbie, bad).

Kevin has left an indelible mark on my soul. He and I talk about everything and anything. And, I mean EVERYTHING. He was there for me when Mike shit all overmy world. When I told him I was moving, he didn't even let me finish before offering to help me move. Had he let me finish he would have found out that I'm going to hire movers this time. When it's just him and I at school late, he walks me to my car so I'll get there safe. Not because I've asked, not that I even needed too. Just because he cares and it's the right thing to do. Some friends come into your life for a little while and others stay a life time like my surgeon girl in my links to the left and my friend Debbie in San Antonio (talk about a Freudian Slip,I put Dallas instead of San Antonio - oh but that's another story), and my brother Andy, and a few others too. I hope Kevin won't be one of those who just stops for a while. I hope he stays for a lifetime.

A good start, I'm tired. The drivers on the road are pissing me off but I get to work in the knick of time. I hustle to my desk and start typing away at a report I want to get done before the board meeting which is only an hour away. Glenn calls: "Robbie have you done the journal entries for the accruals from August?" What, huh, sure I did. I'm all caught up. "But, Robbie the checklist is blank and the consolidating entries don't look like they've been done either." Glenn I can't talk right now. I'm trying to get this report done before the meeting. "But, I need the numbers before the meeting too." What, huh? I'll be right there. "See, Robbie, it's blank." Well, damn, I know I did them, I think. Let me think where should I look to check to see if they were done. I'm too tired I can't think straight. I only got three hours of sleep. Let me get back to you in a minute. I go back to my desk and ponder, where did they go? Where can I look? Shit if I know. I only got three hours of sleep after a night of brain drain. But, I figured it out. And, shortly thereafter figured out that the report I was almost done with wasn't the right numbers at all!!!! I guess the coffee was beginning to hit home.

My brain was clearing and I got to work crunching the right numbers for the report that wasn't done in time. Oh well, I told the Prez when he asked the night before for all that I could get him two hours before I had to leave for school, that I would do my best. And I saved this one for last, he got the rest.

I asked Deidre if I could treat her to lunch. She picked up the slack the night before when I was rushing around before leaving for school. She didn't want to at first. The restaurant in the building is expensive but I told her it was my treat and wanted to show my appreciation. After all, Robbie, the evil boss lady, isn't so bad. So I thought.

I like Deidre. She works hard and conscientiously. She's sincere and honest. The kind of person who sticks up for the underdog. I had an ulterior motive, I must admit. I wanted to get the vibe of the office from her and to talk to her in a casual way about something she needed to improve upon. But, yes, I wanted to show my appreciation too. Well, I've been wearing one of my "hats" around there only since May. Apparently, pretty much everyone else is resentful that I was given the "hat" to wear insteadof them. I only started with the company last December. They feel I get special treatment. It seems to me I am often the topic of their conversation and not so lovingly. It angered me to say the least. I told her they did not know what was on my resume or my capabilities. How was I treated better than them? Did I not do everything and then some that was required of them? I got the position because I get the job done. I don't grumble and complain. I knew they resented me getting the position and I joke about being the evil boss lady. But, I didn't know they pretty much hate me, or whatever. After lunch and the anger subsided (it always comes first) then I realized how much it hurt.

On top of all that, by the time I had a chance to call about the apartment in Kev's building. It was too late. BUMMER!

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